"I Love You, Mommy"

While excited to go on a 2-day trip to speak to some youth about leadership and community service, I wasn't sure how to tell my 3.5 son, K, that I would be gone for a couple of days.  Since moving to Tajikistan about six months ago, K has been quite clingy with me - we've always been close but this move across the world has brought us even closer, to the point where he cries when I go out without him (and this is from a kid who didn't shed one tear when I dropped him to daycare for the first time when he was 11 months old).


So I decided to tell him a few days before the trip in case he had any questions and we needed to have a number of conversations.  I carefully told him that I would be going away for work for two days and that his grandmother would come over and make his favourite blinchiks (Russian word for crepes).  He looked at me with a blank stare and I immediately understood that I would need to bring this up a few more times.  That night while putting K to sleep, I laid down beside him and he looked at me, put his arms around me and gave me a big hug.  "I love you, mommy" he said.  I looked at him, hugged him back and said "I love you too, K."  We both fell asleep wrapped in each others arms.

Over the next couple of days, K repeated those words "I love you, mommy" at random moments during the day.  He totally understood that I was going away.  So one day after he expressed his love (while sitting on the toilet, by the way), I asked him "what does love mean?"  he replied with a blank stare so I decided to provide my own definition.  How do you explain love to a child or to anyone for that matter?  I tried to explain it using simple terms - "I will always take care of you, if you get hurt I will help you, you are my favourite boy in the whole world."  He listened to me and said "I will not say bad words, I will not hit you, I will not push you" and the funniest..."I will not throw you on the floor or the ground and break your head."  While laughing at his response (and even more so because he's never shown an inkling to do the latter), I realized that this was his definition of love.  A 3.5 year old's definition of love....something he was able to express himself in his own words.

The words "I love you" have always been part of our household and I have been saying these words to K on a regular basis ever since he was born.  A few months ago while getting ready for work after getting K ready for school, he gave me a piece of paper with a bunch of scribbles and letters. "What is this?" I asked. K responded "It says, I love you!"

I am so proud of K - he never cried while I was away and when he opened the front door when I came back from my trip, he said "I didn't see you for a long time" and I responded with "I love you, K" and took him in my arms and gave him a big hug.  It was a wonderful evening of "I love you, mommy" until we fell asleep in each others arms again that night.

I look forward to many more loving moments with my son and hearing how he defines love as he grows up.