Facing the Consequences

Five minutes before leaving the house for school one morning, K says to me "I don't want to go to school today." Even though I was in a huge rush to finish making my lunch for work and get my bag ready, I knew it was time for me to sit down next to K, look him straight in the eyes and listen to what was going on with him. I did just that, and in my most calm voice said, "you have never said you don't want to go to school, what's going on?" "I'm scared to tell you because you'll get angry with me," he said while retreating under the dining table where he was finishing up his breakfast. "Remember, I told you that you can always tell me anything and I will always love you."

In a whisper-like voice, K musters the courage to say "I hurt [classmate's name] yesterday when we were playing." 

This is how the rest of our conversation went:

Me: "Did [classmate's name] get hurt?"

K:   "Not too much."

Me: "Did you say sorry to him?"

K:    "Yes, I kept saying sorry to him."

Me:  "Do you know that what you did was a bad thing?"

K:     "Yes."

Me:  "Well, I'm not angry with you. I'm not happy what you did and I'm glad [classmate's name]         didn't get too hurt. So why don't you want to go to school today?"

K:     "I'm scared about what everyone will say at school."

Me:  "Well you did something you were not supposed to do and I know you understand what you did was wrong, but you still need to go to school and deal with what might happen there."

I saw tears begin to form in his eyes as he went to the washroom to brush his teeth. I listen from the other side of the door as he sniffled and cried in the washroom and at that moment, I understood he knew the wrong that he did. I helped him with his shoes and backpack (which I normally don't do now that he can get ready on his own) and we headed out the door to the school car.

On the way to where the school car drops me off to get a taxi to my work, K says to me in a very small voice "mommy, after the next holiday, can I go to another school?" I told him he couldn't and that he needs to learn from his mistakes. We said our goodbyes and he was off to school.

I thought about K all day and how he was feeling inside. I also smiled at what I thought was a good parenting moment for me - teaching my 6.5 year old about facing consequences head on.