90 Minutes For Me

I started Bikram's hot yoga this week - I've been twice and although I feel sore in my legs and arms this morning, I feel good.  Exercising in 40 degree temperature and feeling like you're going to pass out is not anyone's idea of a fun time, but as skeptical as I was about the whole thing (a number of my colleagues swear by it), I think I'm sold for a number of reasons.

First of all, doing yoga is a nice change from the swimming I've been doing for the past year and half.  I guess I was feeling like I wasn't getting the same out of swimming like I was when I first started after returning to work post maternity leave.  While I love the early morning before work routine to jump start my day, I needed to stir things up and work different parts of my body.  I was getting bored and not looking forward to swimming each morning, so this is a nice way to get over that.

Secondly, doing Bikram's yoga is a challenge for me.  I've never been one to like heat (let alone exercise in heat) and never really understood the benefits of the stillness of poses, breathing in through the nose and out through the mouth and that whole downward dog thing everyone seems to be doing nowadays (even my son when he's procrastinating going to sleep at night and wants to play with me "one more time, mommy").  As I sit here typing this before starting my work day, I feel energized and calm - ok, so maybe there's something to it.

Thirdly, I am so proud of myself.  Not only have I driven the 30 minutes to get to the yoga studio each way, I have gone by myself.  Yes, it would be nice to go with a friend to motivate me but I guess there's some kind of inner voice in me motivating me to go and enjoy the solitude of being by myself.  And even though there are 35 or so other people in the room sweating, stretching and breathing out loud all around me and an instructor talking through all the poses on a microphone, I feel like I'm all by myself.  There's no time to think of the outside world - work, wondering if my son is sleeping or giving his dad a hard time, what I'm going to cook for tomorrow's dinner or to remember to pay the rent when I get home - when you're so focused on getting through the 90 minutes in the heat.

This is really the only time I feel like I am focusing on myself, completely.